Styling It Up – Look of the day

20120331-202900.jpg

I recently bought this dress at Dynamite and thought it was an amazing cost-effective piece which can be worn numerous ways and for numerous occasions. Bonus is that it comes with a belt that can be worn with jeans!

Dress : Dynamite $39.90
Tights : Smart Set
Shoes : Nine West
Purse: Gucci

Living it up

I have a dear co-worker who sits next to me everyday at work.  He brings me a banana for breakfast every morning, reads the newspaper with me at lunch and warms my hands when they are cold. Needless to say, he’s an important part of my day. Recently this co-worker suffered a significant health scare which has really shaken up our office. This scare is so significant that he will be on medical leave for the foreseeable future and I am left with no one to bring me bananas anymore. 

This co-worker has worked in our office for 10 years and is a “go-to guy” when people have questions or guidance. Suddenly everyone is realizing how much we depend on him. But more poignantly, people are looking at themselves, their own mortality and wondering if they are truly living “their best life” or just going through the motions.

I see the questions on the faces of the rest of the my co-workers. “What if it was me? What if something like this happens to me? Life is too short. Is what I’m doing truly making me happy?”. I admit, I’ve been questioning also. I enjoy my job, I love my team, but there are other things which I yearn to do and tackle. Why have I been so lazy? So complacent? Such a procrastinator?

In the last few days, some very exciting projects and opportunities have presented themselves, which will allow me to continue to do job that I enjoy but also feed my need for creativity.  Its almost as if the universe is telling me something.. and I hear them loud and clear!

Now if someone can tell me how to: work full-time, raise a family, cook nutritious meals, keep a perfectly clean house, do these side projects, socialize with family and friends, without being completely exhausted, I would appreciate it!

Single Child Mommy Guilt

Baby J recently celebrated her 2nd birthday and in honour of the big day I threw an Elmo themed party at home with a special appearance by the red furry monster himself. (thank you partyatyourplace)  Baby J was so happy to see him and enjoyed her special day more than I ever expected. She brings us such joy every single day that it was great to do something for her.

Since that day I have guilt nagging away at me. What if Baby J isn’t truly happy in the future? What if we choose not to try to give her the one thing she really wants?

My husband and I grew up in big families, with each of us having 3 siblings. Yes we fought/fight with our siblings but we are grateful to have them. My siblings each have two children of their own. Many of my friends are on to child number three; yet I am perfectly content with having an “only child”. Only one child to put to bed at night, only one child to get ready in the morning, no sibling rivalry to deal with etc etc etc. Baby J benefits by getting our undivided attention and activities are age appropriate for her. The list of pro’s could go on and on.

But the cons weigh so heavily on my heart. What if Baby J grows up lonely? What if she longs for a younger brother or sister to grow up with? What if she sees the sibling bond that others have and wants to feel that also? What if she doesn’t understand our choice to not “try again”.

To understand my dilemma you need to understand that prior to having Baby J my husband and I went through 4 years of hell, including two stillbirths one year apart. (will blog more about that another day). To make a long story short, my husband and I are not willing to gamble on another pregnancy. We feel we hit the jackpot with our miracle baby and we are neither mentally nor physically prepared to try again. We have learned the hard way that a happy healthy baby is not always a guarantee.

Do we owe Baby J to try again? Are we being cowards? Are we being bad parents? For the most part our family and friends have been understanding of our decision as they know the pain we experienced in the past.

I just hope that Baby J will someday understand….